Most doctors like to keep a clear distinction between ailments and patients…
On Wednesday Howard Winston brought a cardboard box to my veterinary clinic. I saw him sitting in the waiting room with the box in his lap, studying an open book propped across the box. An extension cord protruded from the box and coiled under Howard’s chair to a wall plug; undoubtedly it was connected to a heating pad. Perhaps, I thought wistfully, Howard had an orphan puppy or kitten in the box. It would be nice to see a normal sort of animal for a change. But it was probably a reptile. I sighed and called in the next patient.
After I had seen a poodle with a cyst (the owner had thought it was a tick, and had valiantly tried to pull it off), a parakeet for a wing-and-beak trim, and an iguana with metabolic bone disease, I began to wonder if my receptionist, Kami, had forgotten Howard. I peeked into the waiting room, and at that moment Kami rushed forward breathlessly to hand me the file. It was so heavy I almost dropped it. Howard’s file had always been bulky, but now—I opened it and counted—there were thirty-seven new charts in it, each painstakingly filled out by Kami. All thirty-seven said exactly the same thing: species reptile, breed desert tortoise, color green, sex unknown, age two days.
“I’m sorry the paperwork took so long, sir,” Kami said, “but there were so many charts to fill out. And, Doctor Clayton, I didn’t fill out the name’ part because he hasn’t named the turtles yet.”
“Tortoises,” I corrected.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Kami looked devastated at the correction. I was about to mention that she could have done the paperwork in 1/37 of the time by making use of the copy machine, but I didn’t have the heart.
“Never mind,” I said, and called Howard into the exam room. He smiled affably, closed his book, unplugged his box, and brought it in. He didn’t complain about being kept waiting; Howard is the most patient man I’ve ever met. He also has the most bizarre collection of exotic pets I’ve ever seen. For him, a box of thirty-seven baby tortoises was downright normal.
“Hi, doc,” Howard said cheerfully. “I’ve got a whole herd of Max’s kids to see you today.”
“Thirty-seven kids? Max gets around.” Max is one of Howard’s favorite pets, a huge venerable desert tortoise with a penchant for females.
“They just hatched,” Howard said proudly.
I opened the box and looked in. The box was full of exquisitely tiny tortoises, no bigger than silver dollars, all busily crawling over and under each other. I picked one up and set it in the palm of my hand. It peered up at me nearsightedly, extending its little neck, and I smiled. It was a sweet little thing. Adorable, really. I had never realized that reptiles could be so cute.
I looked back at the baby tortoise in my hand; it was still adorable. It snuffled, and I held it closer. Its tiny nostrils were clogged, and its eyes were swollen partway shut. I picked up another tortoise, and another, keeping track of which ones I had examined by moving them to another box. Most of the babies had one symptom or another of respiratory disease, a very nasty thing in desert tortoises. I would need to get them all onto antibiotics. I looked doubtfully at the tiny creatures, then looked up the antibiotic dose. There was quite a bit of debate in the literature about the appropriate tortoise dose; I averaged the recommendations of several experts and then weighed a representative tortoise. The dose wasn’t hard to calculate; I would need about 0.0002 cc for each baby. Measuring the dose, however, was going to be tricky. I groaned and began to calculate dilutions. I was deep into a set of fractions when Kami knocked on the door and anxiously poked her head into the room.
“Doctor Clayton?”
“Not now, Kami.”
“But Doctor, it’s an emergency.”
The final calculation took advantage of the interruption and eluded me, and I sighed and gave up. “All right. What is it?”
“It’s a dog. It needs vaccinations. The owner says it’s a whole day overdue. I thought I’d better tell you.”
“Oh.” I closed my eyes and began to count to fifty. “Thank you, Kami.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiled and closed the door.
Howard coughed and said, “I didn’t know vaccinations were an emergency.”
“They’re not.”
“Shouldn’t you tell Kami?”
“I’m afraid to. She might decide that arterial bleeding isn’t an emergency either. Do you suppose Lynda might want to come back to work?” Lynda used to be my receptionist, before she went off to live with Howard, and I missed her terribly. I missed her more every day I worked with Kami.
Howard looked doubtful. “She’s awfully busy,” he said.
“Figures,” I said sadly. “And my kennelman is quitting next week. He says cleaning cages and stalls is too gross, and mopping hurts his back. I can’t seem to keep kennel help for more than a month any more.” I couldn’t seem to get rid of Kami, either. Maybe I should assign her to clean some of the more revolting cages.
Howard said thoughtfully, “I have a poetry student who might be interested in the job.”
“A poetry student? To clean cages and mop floors?” I threw up my hands.
“Sure.”
I shrugged helplessly. “If he’s interested, have him give me a call.”
“She,” Howard said.
“She?”
“She. I’ll let her know.”
“Sure.” I settled back to my fractions, bemused, wondering why a poetry student would possibly want a job at a veterinary clinic.
“So how’s your social life?” Howard asked. “Are you still seeing Susan Rose?”
I sighed. I’d gone out with the beautiful Susan Rose twice, but the third time I asked her for a date she said no (politely, but still no) and the fourth time she said no a bit less politely, which seemed to be some kind of hint.
“Oh no,” I told Howard, trying to sound casual. “We didn’t really hit it off. Besides, I don’t think I was ever meant to date a woman who owns a pet snake.”
Howard laughed. “Oh come on, Doc, you’re great with snakes.”
“Not with snakes named ‘Terminator.’ ”
Actually I was not good with snakes of any kind, but it would probably be best not to mention that to Howard. He had a few snakes of his own that I might have to treat someday.
“By the way,” Howard said, “could you come by our place on Friday night?”
I looked at him suspiciously. “Why?”
Howard smiled. “It’s a surprise.”
“What kind of a surprise?” A few months back I had given Howard a surprise of my own; I had presented him with an orphan calf which he’d then had to bottle feed night and day. I was afraid that Howard might have retribution in mind.
“Come over Friday night and you’ll find out.”
“You don’t have a new pet, do you?” I asked nervously. If he had a new pet it would probably be a species I wouldn’t even recognize.
“No new pets,” Howard said, “except for these thirty-seven. So you’ll come?”
“Well, I’ll try,” I hedged. “Depends on how things go, you know how it is.”
“OK,” he said amiably. “So how much antibiotic do I give the babies?”
I’d gotten distracted from my fractions again and I still had all those hideous dilutions to calculate. Why didn’t anyone manufacture drugs of a suitable strength for the one-gram patient?
On Thursday Howard’s poetry student came to the clinic for an interview. Thinking of a poetess, I had imagined a fragile, ethereal young woman, with long dark hair and a flowing white dress. The woman who appeared in my office wore a leather jacket, jeans, and a tattoo. Her short spiked hair was dyed a startling shade of magenta and was decorated with a bright green lizard-shaped hairpin. She smiled and said, “Hi, I’m Tegan Smith. I’m here about the job.”
I stared at her for about thirty seconds before I remembered to invite her to sit down. “Er, hi,” I said. “I’m Michael Clayton. Did, uh, did Howard tell you what the job involved?”
“Sure,” she said easily. “Cleaning cages and mopping floors.”
“And did he tell you how much it pays?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re interested?”
“Sure. Are you?”
“I, ah—”
Something suddenly moved in her hair, and I stared.
“What is it?” she said.
Her lizard hairpin was moving. With a switch of its tail it crawled to the top of her spiky bangs, and peered at me with unblinking eyes.
“Ah. Um. There’s something in your hair.”
She reached up, looking puzzled, and plucked the lizard off her bangs. “Oops,” she said. “I thought I put him back in the terrarium.” She patted the lizard and popped it back into her hair. Then she smiled a dazzling smile and said, “So do I get the job?”
Leather jacket, tattoo, wild hair, and reptiles: well, she would at least be a contrast to Kami. “You’ve got it,” I said. “Can you start tomorrow?”
On Friday Tegan showed up for work at 8 A.M. sharp. She still wore jeans and a leather jacket, but she changed the jacket for a smock without any objection. I studied her hair covertly; there did not appear to be any lizards in it today. That was a relief; some of my patients would have been frightened of a lizard, and others would have tried to eat it.
I had my soon-to-depart kennelman show Tegan around while I saw my morning clients. Within an hour I noticed that she was doing better work than the kennelman. And she was cheerful about it, too. She whistled as she piled dirty towels into the washing machine; she sang as she changed litter boxes and scrubbed dirty dishes. By the time morning appointments were over, the cages sparkled, the garbage cans were empty, the floors were clean and every dog and cat was snuggled on a freshly laundered blanket. I went outside to the barn and noted that the stalls were raked clean and spread with new bedding. The two horses in the barn were nibbling hay, and their water troughs had been scrubbed and filled to the brim with fresh water. I went back into the clinic and discovered Tegan in the front office, helping Kami answer the phones and file charts. Amazing. Under the magenta hair and the tattoos, Tegan was a gold mine. I owed Howard big-time for sending her here. And
I did not enjoy the trip to Howard’s place. The fifty-mile drive up Caliente Canyon is bad enough, even if you break the speed limit by a considerable amount, but Howard’s ranch roads are worse. Potholes lie in wait, big enough to swallow a truck, and hairpin turns teeter precariously on the edges of cliffs. I suppose the roads discourage trespassers, but I’ve always wondered how Howard puts up with the three-day-a-week commute to teach his college classes.
When I finally got to the house I got out of the truck cautiously, not sure what to expect in the way of a surprise. In spite of Howard’s assurances, I was still expecting a new pet. When the house door opened I jumped about three feet, but it was only Howard, with Lynda behind him. They greeted me politely, then looked at each other as if trying to decide who had to break the bad news.
“We really called you out here for a
I groaned and felt a sharp twinge of pain in my own belly; Curious and his nine siblings were enough to give any veterinarian a bleeding ulcer. I probably had six or seven ulcers by now. Resigned, I got back in my truck with Howard and Lynda, and we drove into the hills until we reached a secluded, deep pool. It looked like a big stock pond from the surface, but if you dove in you’d find yourself in a vast network of underwater caverns, extending for miles in every direction, and so deep that you’d never be able to find the bottom. I stopped the truck and we walked to the edge of the pool. Lynda knelt and slapped the surface of the water, in a distinctive pattern. The water rippled away from her hand, scattering the reflection of the moon. Lynda sat back and waited, and gradually the water stilled. It was silent for a long moment, except for the chirping of crickets and the whisper of wind in the grass. Then the water roiled and splashed, and a sea monster poked its face out of the water. An instant later it was joined by another, then another, until finally ten monsters were swimming happily at the surface.
Actually only nine of them were swimming happily. Curious had been the last to surface (he’s usually the first) and he looked preoccupied, as if with something internal. The expression on a sea monster’s wrinkled, whiskery face isn’t particularly easy to read, but I knew Curious well, and I could tell at a glance that something wasn’t right. Curious wasn’t even paying much attention to his visitors. Definitely not normal.
I groaned inwardly; I’d really been hoping that Howard and Lynda were imagining things. Howard’s sea monsters are unique creatures; they are bizarre spheroidal marsupials with gills, blowholes, four-pronged tails, and whiskery faces. They’re still babies, each about the size of a grown man. I don’t know how long it takes for them to mature; their parents were at least five times the size they are now. Howard bottle-raised all ten babies when the adults died of an insidious disease. There’s nothing else like them in the world, and Howard keeps their existence a closely guarded secret. Which means I’m the unlucky vet who gets to figure out how to take care of them when anything goes wrong.
Lynda persuaded Curious to come out of the water so I could do an examination. He lay placidly on the bank during the process; he was used to examinations. I’d examined all the monsters regularly ever since they were born, taking blood samples and making records of normal monster physiology.
I started at the whiskery nose and worked my way down. The eyes were clear, the gums pink, the blowhole clear, the gills normal-looking. The abdomen was tight and tender to the touch; Curious lifted his head in distress when I palpated it. That was really all I could tell; the monsters’ external fat layer was too thick for me to actually feel anything inside. I worked my way down to the tail without finding anything else significant, and drew a blood sample from a tail vein. Then I got out my portable x-ray unit and snapped a picture of the belly. Curious slipped back into the water, but he didn’t rejoin the others; he stayed near us, resting his head on the bank. Lynda knelt beside him and patted him soothingly. The other monsters clustered nearby, watching, uncharacteristically subdued.
“What do you think?” Howard asked anxiously.
“Well, Lynda’s right. It’s an acute abdomen. Stomach ache, that is. I can’t guess what’s causing it, though.” I opened the back of my truck and plugged in the little centrifuge; I could at least get a packed cell volume. While the blood was spinning, Curious retched and vomited on the bank. No food, nothing but a little frothy liquid. I frowned; I’d never seen any of the monsters vomit before. I hoped it was a relatively normal physiological reaction for a monster’s digestive tract. Curious looked dismayed.
The blood finished spinning and I checked the packed cell volume and total protein. They were both slightly high, indicating dehydration; well, with the vomiting that was no surprise.
Howard hovered over me as I read the blood values. “What does it say?”
“He’s a little dehydrated. Only slightly, though, and it’s probably from the vomiting. I’ll have to take the blood to the lab to find out anything else.”
“So what do we do?”
“We treat the symptoms and see what happens.” Which basically meant
Trying to look confident, I mixed a big batch of kaopectate, activated charcoal, and barium. Lynda took it from me and offered it to Curious, who tasted it and then wrinkled his nose, looking disgusted. Lynda gently grasped a handful of his tentacles and closed her eyes, concentrating, no doubt trying to get across an impression of how important it was for him to take the medication. The sea monsters have an extraordinary chemical sensitivity to touch; they pick up amazingly well on human emotional output. Lynda offered the medication again, and this time Curious reluctantly swallowed it. Then he slipped back into the water and floated just offshore, and his brothers and sisters clustered nearby.
“Now what?” Howard asked.
“Now we wait. We see how he responds. I’ll take the blood to the lab and develop the x-ray, and see if anything else presents itself.”
“Oh dear,” Howard said. He took off his glasses, wiped them compulsively on his shirt, and put them back on, then ran his hands through his thinning hair. “Oh, this is awful. For all the problems we’ve had with them, they’ve never really been
Lynda went to his side and put her arm around him.
“Oh, Lynda,” he said. “I’m sorry about tonight.”
“Don’t be silly. We can celebrate another time. Tonight we’ve got to see to Curious.”
“Celebrate?” I said.
Howard nodded sadly. “Yes. That was supposed to be the surprise. You see, we’re engaged.” For the first time I noticed the ring on Lynda’s finger, the sparkle of a diamond. I’ve never been too observant when it comes to human beings; I would probably never have noticed without a hint.
“Engaged! Well, that’s wonderful! Congratulations.”
Ye gods, they were going to be married. That meant that Lynda would
But they weren’t any more in the mood for congratulations than I was; they were far too worried about Curious. We drove back to the house, and I let them off.
“I’ll get going on the labwork,” I said. “Keep in touch and let me know how he’s doing.”
They didn’t even go into the house; they went straight for their own truck and headed back to the pond. I crossed my fingers, hoping for the best, and started the long drive back to town.
It was almost midnight by the time I’d dropped the blood off at the lab and returned to the clinic. I developed the x-ray; as I’d expected, I wasn’t able to tell a thing from it. My little portable unit just wasn’t powerful enough to penetrate Curious’ spherical abdomen. Still, with luck I’d be able to see the barium in the digestive tract on the next x-ray, and at least tell if it was moving.
I contemplated going to bed and waiting for the lab results, but I wanted more x-rays and I figured I was too uneasy to sleep anyway. I swallowed some No-Doz, grabbed an armful of x-ray cassettes and a pile of exotics textbooks, and drove all the way back to the sea monsters’ pool.
I took x-rays and blood at hourly intervals, stacking up the x-ray cassettes to be processed later. I spun the blood each hour. Curious was slowly, steadily becoming more dehydrated, more pained, more lethargic. The other monsters hovered nearby, looking frightened and rather ill themselves.
“Oh my God,” Howard said frantically. “They’re all getting sick.”
But Lynda shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she said. “I think they’re just reacting to Curious’ condition—like they did when Stranger was sick.”
Stranger was, true to the name Howard had given her, a stranger thing than even the monsters. She was an enormous serpentlike creature who lived in a deep luminescent cavern and who had never been seen near the surface. The monsters had made friends with her, and apparently they visited her often. She’d been very ill a few months back, and the monsters had picked up on it, showing vague signs of illness themselves although they were perfectly healthy. I hoped that Lynda was right.
At 5 A.M. I sent Lynda back to town to develop the x-rays and pick up the blood-panel results. When she was gone I sat down on the bank, exhausted. Curious lay in the shallows nearby, his breathing labored, his eyes glazed. He was trembling. I remembered that his mother had trembled just before she died. Howard paced back and forth on the bank, his footsteps crunching in the gravel, back and forth, back and forth. A cold wind blew out of the hills, ruffling the surface of the pond, and I shivered, stuffing my hands in my jacket pockets.
I dozed off for a time, waking up every few minutes to focus my tired eyes on Curious and make sure he was still breathing. The water sloshed hypnotically against the bank as the monsters moved in the pool, and I fell momentarily into a deeper sleep, still sitting up. I didn’t wake up this time until Howard touched my arm.
“Doc,” he whispered.
I blinked up at him. “What? Is Curious—”
“Curious is about the same,” Howard said in a peculiar voice. “There’s something else.”
“What?” I rubbed my eyes and squinted at Curious; he still lay in the shallows where he’d been all night. But Howard wasn’t looking at Curious. I followed Howard’s gaze to the center of the pond.
Enormous limpid eyes stared back at me from a massive snakelike head, suspended five feet out of the water on a slender undulating neck. A mass of fins and streamers fell from the creature’s head and neck and trailed into the water. It was Stranger, the stranger thing from the depths. If I hadn’t known it was her I would have fainted on the spot. I almost fainted anyway.
“She’s at the surface,” I said, gabbling. “I didn’t think she could come to the surface. What is she doing at the surface?” I’d been convinced that she could only survive at depth; obviously I’d been wrong.
Stranger moved her head toward me; reflexively I moved back. Then she swung her head about, her movements startlingly fast, and touched Curious’s face with her snout. Then she disappeared. Hardly a ripple marked the spot where she’d vanished.
“She looked at you, and then touched Curious,” Howard said, gazing at me. “She knows you helped her when she was sick.”
“So she wants to make sure I help Curious?”
“Yes, but I think…” Caddy, one of Curious’s sisters, swam suddenly to Howard’s side, waving the tentacles of her dorsal fin; he clasped the tentacles absent-mindedly, and then said, “I think we’re supposed to follow Stranger.”
“
“Uh, yes.” Howard let go of Caddy’s fin and looked at me apologetically. He knew how much I disliked diving.
“But why?” I protested. “What good will that do for Curious?”
“I don’t know,” Howard said, but he got up and headed purposefully for the little shed where he stored his diving equipment.
“I shouldn’t leave Curious alone,” I said, following Howard reluctantly.
“Lynda will be back soon.”
“Lynda will be worried if we’re not here when she gets back.”
“We’ll leave her a note.” Howard began handing out diving gear, and I gave up. Although Howard has a placid nature, once he’s made up his mind about something there’s no stopping him. In short order we were in the dark, cold water, heading down.
Howard swam ahead of me, deep into the pool, and I followed, letting him lead the way. I’d only been down here a couple of times, but Howard dove here regularly, playing with the monsters; he knew his way around. All the tunnels in the watery labyrinth looked the same to me, but Howard headed straight toward one of them and swam into it, and I swam after him. We maneuvered through the maze of tunnels, twisting and turning, until I was completely lost. But Howard knew where he was going, and finally we reached Stranger’s vast home cavern.
She was waiting for us, floating in the weird blue bioluminescence that lit her home. When she saw us approaching, she spun about in a great arc and began to swim deeper into the cavern. Howard followed her, and I followed him. We were very deep now, past the three-martini level, and I was feeling fairly giddy by the time Stranger came to a sudden stop, swinging her head around to gaze at us. I simply stared at her, admiring her enormous blue eyes that so closely matched the luminescence around us, until she moved her head toward the wall behind her in what seemed to be a look-at-this gesture.
Clinging to the wall was a cluster of bright yellow plants with fluorescent-orange tendrils that waved in the current. They were terribly pretty. I reached out to touch one, and Stranger smacked my hand with her snout, nearly sending me into a cartwheel. I stared at her in confusion, then belatedly remembered that brilliant colors in marine life often indicate a toxic nature. Undoubtedly the pretty little plants were poisonous. Why was Stranger pointing them out to us? It took another minute for my nitrogen-fogged brain to realize that she was telling us that Curious had
I was puzzling through this when Howard caught my arm and pointed. One of the yellow-and-orange plants had launched itself from the wall and was swimming, propelling itself rather like an amoeba. An odd thing for a plant to do. Perhaps it wasn’t a plant? Stranger waved her streamers at it and the yellow thing selected a new spot on the wall and attached itself. I gazed at it in fascination until I noticed Howard tugging at my arm. It was time to start back up.
When we finally reached the surface, the sun was up, and Lynda and Tegan were waiting for us. I blinked at Tegan in surprise as I pulled off my mask, noting that her hair was almost as bright as the plant-creatures below.
“I thought we might need more help,” Lynda said, “so I brought Tegan. Kami’s going to cancel your appointments and take care of the animals in the clinic.”
Tegan looked rather glassy-eyed, which wasn’t surprising since she’d just met the monsters, but she was already tentatively reaching out to touch Caddy’s fin. Caddy swam closer and blew a spume of water from her blowhole; Tegan smiled in delight. All in all, she seemed to be handling her introduction to the monsters rather well. I supposed that I shouldn’t be surprised; after all, the woman kept lizards in her hair.
“What did the x-rays show?” I asked Lynda.
“It’s hard to see much, but the barium stopped about halfway along. It didn’t move at all on the last three films.”
“Let me see.” I hurried back out to the bank, and Lynda handed me the films. She was right; the barium had definitely come to a stop, but it was damned difficult to tell where. Details simply didn’t show up on the films.
“What did you find out down there?” Lynda asked.
“I think Curious ate something. A plant or an animal, I’m not sure which. Something like an anemone.” I glanced at Howard; he nodded confirmation.
“Something poisonous?” Tegan asked.
“Yes. Poisonous.”
Lynda handed me the blood results and I scanned them quickly. Almost everything was out of the monsters’ normal range; the liver and kidney values had skyrocketed, and the electrolytes were way out of balance. The values looked remarkably like those of a snakebitten dog. Everything was fitting together in a rather horrible fashion, leading to one inescapable conclusion.
“I brought a full surgical kit,” Lynda commented.
I was going to have to do surgery on a sea monster.
“Surgery?” Howard said frantically.
I knelt in the shallows with Lynda, putting an IV catheter into Curious’s tail fluke vein. “Surgery,” I said. “It’s the only way. We’ve got to take that thing out.”
The IV was in place; Lynda hefted the three-liter bag and hung it from an IV pole that she’d rammed into the mud. I was nervous about giving Curious fluids; aquatic creatures have a very delicate fluid and electrolyte balance. But Curious’ balance was so far off already, the fluids would more likely be beneficial than harmful. And what about temperature regulation? Would keeping him mostly in the water be sufficient?
“But,” Howard said, “but what if we misunderstood Stranger? What if it’s something else altogether?”
“Either way, I’ve got to go in and look! He’s losing ground too fast; we can’t be conservative any more.”
“But
“And I need you to calm down. I need you to keep Curious calm, not scare him to death.”
“Keep him calm? But aren’t you going to use an anesthetic?”
Everything I’d read about cetacean general anesthesia suggested that it was all too often catastrophic, and sea-monster anesthesia was undoubtedly even more dangerous. “Of course I’ll use anesthetic,” I told Howard, trying to sound soothing. “A local block.”
“A local? That’s
“Anything more would probably kill him, Howard. A local will do the trick as long as he stays still and quiet. You know how sensitive he is to us—all you’ve got to do is hold him and stay calm yourself.”
“I—I don’t think I can do calm right now,” Howard stuttered. “Lynda, could you?”
Lynda glanced at me; I shook my head. “I’ll need Lynda to assist in surgery,” I said. “Come on, Howard. Take a deep breath.”
Howard took a deep breath, but it didn’t help; he still looked positively frantic. If he touched Curious while in this emotional state, Curious would be terrified, and that was exactly what I didn’t need. Perhaps if I gave
Tegan spoke up then. “I can do it,” she said calmly. She slipped into the water alongside Curious and reached for a tentacled fin. Gently she took the fin into her hand, settled herself comfortably in the muddy shallows, and closed her eyes. At her touch, Curious visibly relaxed. I blinked in amazement and relegated Howard to fetching and carrying.
We coaxed Curious into rolling on his side, and got him positioned. I injected the local under his skin with some trepidation, hoping it wouldn’t be toxic to him. When I had finished the block, Lynda prepped the site, and I set up for surgery as well as I could, considering that we were going to have to operate in the water. I laid the packs out on the bank, donned my mask and gloves, and waded out to my patient with scalpel in hand.
I took a deep breath, hoping it would work better for me than it had for Howard. Curious lay quietly before me, his eyes closed, his tentacles wrapped around Tegan’s fingers. Tegan sat in the shallows like some fantastic spike-haired water nymph, a trancelike expression on her face. Howard paced nervously on the bank, and out in the pool the other sea monsters floated with barely a ripple, watching. I made the first incision.
There was no reaction from the patient; the local appeared to be working. I cut deeper, making my way through the heavy layer of subcutaneous fat and into the muscle. Still not a twitch from Curious, and he was still breathing regularly. I opened the abdominal cavity and peered inside.
There was nothing remarkable at first sight. Loops of intestine, mesenteric fat and blood vessels, omentum. I worked my way up to what appeared to be a set of stomachs and began to follow the intestine down, examining it systematically. It didn’t take long to find the problem: a section of intestine that was blackish-red, swollen and lumpy.
“What did you find?” Howard called frantically. “What are you doing?”
“There’s an inflamed piece of intestine here,” I called back. “I’m going to see what’s inside.” Under my breath I whispered to Lynda, “How’s Curious doing?”
She shrugged helplessly. “He’s alive. He has a pulse and he’s breathing. That’s about all I can tell you.”
“That’s about all I can ask for. Here we go.”
I made an incision in the intestine, and a bright orange tendril popped out. Lynda jumped, startled, and nearly fell backwards in the water. Carefully I enlarged the incision until we could see most of the creature’s body.
“Is it alive?” Lynda whispered.
I looked at it doubtfully. How could it possibly be alive after all that time in the digestive tract? The tendril had probably popped out because of a release of pressure. It hadn’t moved by itself. Had it?
“Is it?”
“I don’t think so. Careful, don’t touch it. We’d better only handle it with instruments.”
“OK.”
I poked a large forceps at the creature and clamped down on a piece of it. Gingerly I began to tug at it. Nothing happened; it was stuck tight to the intestinal wall. I pulled harder, then used another instrument to try to pry it free of the intestine.
“What’s happening?” Howard called plaintively.
“It’s one of those yellow and orange things. We’re trying to get it out.”
I shifted the instrument to a different position and rocked it back and forth. Something gave way, like a suction cup releasing, and then suddenly there was a violent thrashing of tendrils and the creature leaped out of the intestine and twisted frantically on the end of my forceps. As I gaped at it the thing tore itself loose and flopped across Curious’ body, straight toward Tegan.
“Tegan!” Lynda screamed.
“Tegan, look out!” I yelled.
Tegan snapped out of her trance, saw the thing coming, and dove out of the way. A blur of yellow and orange flashed past her and disappeared into the water. I gasped with relief. And then my surgical field lurched up against me and hit me in the face. Curious, terrified, was thrashing in the water, with his abdomen open and a hole in his intestine. I grabbed the piece of intestine, clamping my fingers down on either side of the hole, and held on for dear life. Lynda snatched some of the instruments, but the rest tumbled off the surgical field and splashed into the water. And then, mercifully, the thrashing stopped. Tegan was back in her place, dripping wet, soothing Curious with gentle fingers. Shakily, I continued with the surgery.
The intestine was too badly damaged for mere suturing; I had to resect the damaged piece and then anastomose the ends, a tedious piece of surgery even when half of your instruments haven’t disappeared underwater. But I finished at last, and closed, and when I was done Curious was still alive.
And he was, remarkably, already looking better. He rolled up onto his chest, peering back curiously at his incision. The other monsters swam up to him, squeaking and clicking, touching him gently with noses and fins. Then the other nine swam off together, to the center of the pool, and began to play.
Lynda smiled tiredly. “Well,
I stripped off my mask and gloves, gathered what instruments I could find, and staggered up the bank to collapse beside Howard. Lynda followed with the piece of resected intestine bundled in a drape. It was probably best that Howard didn’t look at the thing; he was pale enough already, and he was still shaky.
“Is it over?” he whispered.
“It’s over,” I said. “He made it through surgery and he’s already looking better. So far so good.” Removing the poisonous creature and the damaged intestine had done wonders; now all we had to worry about were mundane things like infection, dehiscence, and whether the antibiotics I was going to have to use were safe for sea monsters. I got back to my feet and staggered to my truck to contemplate the selection of antibiotics. Lynda put an arm around Howard and gently took him out to visit with Curious, and Tegan discreetly moved away. I watched Tegan distractedly as she began to dive like a mermaid for instruments. She surfaced with a thumb forceps, then went back under and returned with a Doyen clamp. I sighed. I really could have used that Doyen during the surgery. And I’d have to do an inventory before I left, to make sure I had all the instruments; otherwise one of the monsters might swallow one, and I’d end up doing surgery again. I shuddered at the mere thought of that, and picked up an aquatic-medicine text, hoping to find a dolphin or sea lion antibiotic dose that I could extrapolate for Curious. I was immersed in tables of doses when Tegan came up to me with an armful of instruments.
“Here you go,” she said. “Say, could I use some of your exam gloves?”
“Sure.” Absently I handed her the box and got out my calculator to figure a dose. Then, not trusting my tired and foggy brain, I double checked the calculations.
“Oh wow,” I heard Lynda say. “Look at that.”
“Oh dear,” Howard said. “It’s hurt.”
I looked up from my calculations. Tegan stood in front of me, the orange and yellow anemone-thing cradled in her gloved hands.
“Aaaah!” I cried.
Tegan looked at me reproachfully.
“That thing’s dangerous,” I sputtered.
“It should be safe to handle it with gloves on, shouldn’t it? Look, one of the tendrils is torn partway off. Can you fix it?”
I peered doubtfully at the creature in Tegan’s hands. Apparently she was right about the gloves, since she was still standing and she showed no signs of being poisoned. But what in hell could
“Can you?” Tegan asked again.
I looked at her earnest, hopeful.